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Three shirts from Queensway this week while I was buying my new street soccer boots. The yellow one was $15, while the rest cost $7 each.

Hello. I’ve just invented a quick and easy way to improve your fitness. All you need is 5 seconds! Amazing results guaranteed! Sold on the idea yet? Ok, so this is how it works. Suck in your breath. Fill all corners of your lungs until you’re pretty sure they’re going to explode. Good. Now hold it in. For the finishing touch, suck in your belly too. Now you’re fit and raring to go!

With my astounding new method, you can now look good in tight fitting T-shirts! I’ll even throw in a free tip – the secret to wearing a pink shirt. How do you pull it off? Why, by showing you’re manly enough to wear pink! And nothing shows machismo like a feral growl that looks like you’re going to rip the other guy’s ear off…

I’m going to be rich!

Hello and welcome to the debut issue of T-shirt of the Week! Following the decision to have a new maxim that has something to do with buying a new shirt each week, I’ve decided to post each purchase for your criticism.

This week, we have a special commemorative double issue! Featured here are pieces bought at Bugis Village for an whopping $8 each.

And I just realised I can’t spell “commemorate” without checking with MS Word. Drat.

I’ve been buying so many clothes in the past few weeks it’s almost obligatory to label me a spendthrift. All of a sudden, there’s been a realisation that I need to improve my personal image. My entire wardrobe needs to be changed. I’m going to be 21 years old this year. It’s time to start caring about how I look. Call it a delayed spurt of pubertal vanity, if you will. I can no longer be wearing clothes that mum bought me eons ago, nor can I keep relying on her taste either. I mean, I can’t believe I’ve been wearing soccer jerseys for the past few years! It’s all I have in there. It’s time to step out of a sheltered apparel cycle and into the light.

My new way of thinking is thus: corporate image and product branding is the current jargon being circulated in society. So why not personal branding? Good grooming and fashionable clothing converts directly into the currency of confidence. People take notice of you. Girls are suddenly more amicable. Friends tease you about your narcissism. Priceless.

Looks do matter. It’s a sad but it’s a fact. There’s no denying it. Having good looks and looking good will get you places. Let’s face it – if you have an attractive customer and an average looking one in front of you, which one would you attend to first? Let me rephrase that question. Which one would you want to talk to first? Which one would you be happier attending to initially, regardless of her consequent attitude or manners? My friends, it’s all pre-programmed. Looks operate on an instinctual level.

Therefore, outfitting is not squandering good money. It’s a personal investment.